On Boredom

I'm home for the summer. Today I started work on my senior project. It's a collection of short stories and I am trying desperately not to get so lost in it that I begin to ignore the rest of my life.

What life?

It's not true, but I do feel as though I am living in a vacuum. A Hoover, perhaps, with lots of dust inside.

I'm striving to trust God, holding onto what He has said like superglue. I know He said that He would bring streams in the desert.

Desert? Check.

I'm reading and writing, and goodness knows I love to do those things. But it's not enough. If I've ever said that I wanted to escape from people and be a hermit and write, MAY I BE FORGIVEN.

I was wrong. 

I need people and relationships to pour into. I want to be needed. 

Now, I am loved. But not needed. 

Although I have things to do: Read. Write. Make cookies.

I long to engage. 

Pray, friends. Pray that God will move. Pray that as He does something new, I will be aware of it. 

I'm trying so hard to focus on what He is doing and not on what He isn't doing. But right now, as Mom said, it doesn't seem like He's doing anything. 

Blessed be His name.