I've been in search of a renewed vision lately. Life has dealt me some interesting hands, and I'm trying to figure out how to play them. I was just thinking, this weekend, about the word "revision." When I write, I lay out a nice pretty rough draft and let it rest for a little while, then I come back to it and cut off the parts I don't need, smooth the parts that need work and add things I hadn't thought of. This process often pulls me in completely, but it also hurts. Those flowing paragraphs you wrote in the height of inspiration are always the ones to be cut. The cute joke you opened the entire story with ends up in the recycle bin as well. It hurts.
At the end of a story, I always know when it's finished. It's not usually perfect, but I have fine-tuned and worked it until I am satisfied. Unlike James Joyce, I do not go back and change a word here and a word there for years, causing multiple editions with nearly imperceptible changes. What's done is done, after a while. It becomes part of that history, of that time of my life.
I'm in a new place. I recognize very little around me. I'm trying to figure out which way is forward, but I'm struggling with that. Just keep going is all very well and good, but just keep going where?
This weekend has taken a lot of prayer and this road will take a lot more. There is a lot of excitement and potential in my life. There are things for me to do and ways that I need to move forward. There are lots of unanswered questions, and lots of anticipation.
For now, I'm just going to focus on the fine-tuning of my vision.