Making the Cut
Honestly, I like it that way. I have always hated being bored, and I sometimes pack my schedule as full as I can, even when it doesn't come that way. I like to run head long, and sometimes I forget that balance should be a part of my life. Often, God reminds me.
I am now at the end of my second week at my grown-up, full-time job and I have learned something: I can't do everything.
I can sleep, or work, or read, or eat, or spend time with people, or clean. One thing at a time, sixty seconds in a minute, sixty minutes in an hour, every day. I am learning, through trial and error, it seems, what my priorities are.
The other side of being very busy, for me, is worry. I stress about being late, being unprepared, not getting things done. I struggle with the things I'm unable to cross off my to-do list. Even having library books out can cause stress.
These past two weeks, I have stopped doing things without thought, much of my mental task list hasn't been completed, but the things that I really care about are moving forward.
In the third Harry Potter book, Hermione is given a gift. It's a necklace called a time-turner, and the beauty of it is that she is able to live the same moments over and over again as multiple versions of herself. In essence, she is able to be several places at once. She used this great power to attend several classes at the same time.
I get that.
I don't want to pick between mutually attractive options. I don't want to choose to go to yoga and find that to mean that I can't spend time with a friend. I don't want to have to choose between dinner and a movie. I want both. I want it all.
What Hermione finds, and I have found, in my own way, is exhaustion. Like taking that last piece of flourless chocolate cake, too much of a good thing can overfill me. I might think that I can do it all, but I can't. I am finite.
So I am cutting some things out, some with purpose, others without intent. As with a poem, my life is well considered, every piece fits. As I do, I am remembering that I am human, and I can't be everywhere at once, and I really can't truly multi-task (even though I think I can).
But God is not bound by the same rules as I am. He is great and mighty and powerful and everywhere at once, accomplishing many things all at the same time.
Blessed be His name.