Ready, Set, Go
A good friend of mine recently had a baby and she spent a lot of time beforehand trying to prepare for what would happen. Her baby was early, not everything got done. The world didn't end. Her little girl came into the world in spite of all that: healthy and beautiful and all-encompassing. She didn't wait until her mother was ready.
As I was leaving my former job, just a under a month ago, I had a to-do list a mile long. I wanted to clean out my basement, create some art, get my filing done and have everything I own organized before I started my new job.
Needless to say, that did not happen.
I started work without my outfits planned for the month, lunches packed for a week and every eventuality considered. I have been out of my comfort zone since then because I didn't know how to prepare. I like to know what's coming, but I never can. Maybe God doesn't work this way in everyone, but this is one of the challenges He's given me.
Every morning, I face the day, not knowing what it will hold. In seasons of more routine, I have relied on my own strength. These days, I am painfully aware of how not ready I am. I run to God and give it to Him because I have no other choice. Without Him, I would fail. Every day.
My friends who are mothers and teachers and fathers and leaders and wives and husbands and volunteers all say the same thing: they weren't ready for where God has them, and that seems to be the point. They would have waited to get married, or take that job, or take on that role, or start a family. They might never have done it. If I'm ready, I lose sight of my need for God to supply each breath, each thought, each bit of strength for each moment.
In the end, it's all about story. God is telling it, I am walking in it. He does not consult me about whether I am ready for the next chapter. He knows me intimately, knows my readiness, knows what He will supply to me in my need. I don't have to see it.
Just maybe, that's what faith is: ready or not, here I come.