Relearning

I read a post yesterday on Tyler Braun's blog, written by his friend Chris Nye. The post is called "Tweet it and You've Got It." It's a great post, and I recommend it. It got me thinking about the way that I process life on this blog.

I love the opportunity to be vulnerable here, to share what God is doing and teaching me in my life, but I want to make one thing clear: I haven't grasped it yet.

I have written lately about being enough, about how you and I are enough right now where we are, every single second. I believe that with all of my heart, but the end of last week was busy, and I felt like I was letting people down, and I was frustrated by the place I am in life, and I didn't act like I knew I was enough.

In fact, sometimes, it seems that when I write about something, God takes the opportunity to teach me more about it, to drive the lesson home, if you will, even though I'm constantly in a state of relearning the things I know to be true.

I don't write about being enough, or God's expectations of us (so much more merciful than the ones we place on ourselves) or how to support people going through hard things just because I have readers. I write about these things because I need to hear them too.

Sometimes, I go back to posts I've written and I realize that a lot of the things I was learning then are things that I am still learning now. I realize that a word of encouragement from years ago is often still a word of encouragement, sometimes precisely what I need to hear at that moment. In reading my journals, it amazes me that although things change, sometimes dramatically, things stay very much the same.

I am always learning, often in a cycle. Each season holds new lessons that feel a lot like old lessons. There are very few things that I write about without thinking: I knew that, didn't I?

It's easy to write about something true, really an epiphany, and mentally check it off my list. But I can't do that, because I will continue to walk here, on earth, and God still has so much more to teach me about that true thing He is beginning to show me. If anything, that first post is just a doorway for me to walk through, the best is yet to come.