That word holds a lot of uncertainty. I may be flying home on Friday the 21st.

The sun may rise tomorrow. 

Death (or heaven) may claim me at any time.

I may  be single until I'm 45. 

Anything may happen. 

Aside from these, and the cacophony of others which play off of one another and both taunt and comfort me. There is the heading on my calendar. May. I have no idea what will happen in this month. 

When I spend time with God in the mornings, I usually say something like this: "I've got a sort of tentative outline of what this day looks like, feel free to change it."

He does. 

Sometimes He sticks to the outline in places, but rarely point by point. I have learned to trust His gentle edits. He knows what He is doing. 

Sometimes He scraps my outline entirely. 

I don't cry about this nearly so often anymore. 

Maybe I am growing up. Maybe I am learning to be flexible.


The other thing I think of when I ponder "may" is the game "mother may I?"

Did any of you play it? You asked "mother" if you could do some sort of action, "she" would agree and you would do it. (Was there more to it then that?) I like that idea. 

"May I graduate now?"

May I get married soon after college?"

God is not mother. He usually says, "wait and see," "trust Me" or "go do this instead." 

Augustine said "Love God and do as you please." 

I have thought about that a lot since I heard it for the first time. I think, perhaps, I have a little idea of what he meant. If you love you, you may do as you please because if you bury yourself in Him, you will know what He wants you to do. You won't be asking God to bless your plans. You will be asking for the strength, grace and everything else you need to walk in His plans.