Fun

You know how sometimes you set out to have fun. You go to dinner or a movie or plan a day or something, because you want to have fun?  Okay, then sometimes you're just going along and you're with people you like and you just start laughing about something random like spontaneous combustion or St. Patrick's Day or something. You didn't start out in this instance to not have fun, but the fun kind of develops organically. In some ways, it's as if you get to the end and realize that you haven't cared about what time it is for hours and your jaw hurts from laughing and your brain is operating on several levels to tell these people something else that you think they'd laugh about or enjoy hearing. 

You don't think so hard about having fun, you just realize that you had it. 

That is the sort of evening I just spent. 

It was an adventure, and like the time I went to a Mexican restaurant on St. Patrick's Day and pretended it was my birthday and had to wear a sombrero that was bigger than me, there was a lot of laughter. 

I went to dinner and huckleberry picking with a good friend and her husband. We saw a moose, we ate, we laughed and talked and promised that our next outing would involve blowing things up. 

I haven't had that much fun in a long time. 

Those moments, the ones you don't think about as they pass, they are so worth it. It's hard when life is filled with moments that go by so slowly and are filled with such difficulty. But these moments are worth it. It's kind of like at a concert when you got there early to get a good spot and you've been waiting for six hours and you're so tired and then the band comes out onstage and nothing matters anymore. 

This summer has involved a lot of waiting. There have been times when I wanted my money back on my ticket because the concert didn't seem to be on. But the thing is, there have been moments that I never noticed coming or going. Times when I wasn't trying so hard to hold onto every second. The joy remained intact. 

I'm going out on a limb. 

That is true fun.